Nothing Succeeds Like Secession: Suggested Demands for CHOP From a Friendly Panarchist Ally - CounterPunch.org

Source: Counter Punch - View Original Article
Published: Jun 29, 2020
Category:
Bias Rating:

57% Conservative


Bias Score Calculation:

51% Positive Sentiment + Policies: ICE = 51% Liberal
49% Negative Sentiment + Policies: ICE = 49% Conservative
42% Positive Sentiment + Policies: Government Regulation = 42% Liberal
58% Negative Sentiment + Policies: Government Regulation = 58% Conservative


Policies:

ICE
Taxes
Government Regulation

Sentiments

  •   Liberal
  •   Conservative
  •   Neutral
98% "We demand the right to mitigate our own justice system through both armed and unarmed peacekeepers, free of influence from the outside police state, including but not limited to the defense of our citizens and the investigation and subsequent mode of restorative justice we choose to handle those who harm them."
95% "If our schools can't stimulate their student's attention, it isn't the students who should be penalized for their failings. 8."
90% "All other taxes within city limits shall be 100% voluntary."
79% "Organized Protest, which may very well include a fair share of anarchists among its contingency but is not in fact an anarchist commune."
77% "We demand that the military and all institutions that serve the military industrial complex be permanently evicted from city limits under threat of local prosecution in tandem with international law for conspiracy to commit crimes against humanity."
70% "A right once guaranteed in the Declaration of Independence as a stopgap to the growth of the kind of tyranny that has gone unchallenged in this country and made our existence a necessity for self-defense."
60% "But globally speaking, secession has more often than not been a practice which usually favors the colonized over the colonizers, and one that could have given real teeth to the growing slave revolts of the South had it been held to the standards of Thomas Paine."
50% "We recognize the police state as being a lethal injection table held up by many legs and we aim to saw them all off and ride that deathbed like a surfboard to liberty across the Puget Sound."
-55% "After rightfully calling out the chattel style slavery of this nation's school-to-prison system, CHOP calls for blank checks to centralized education and healthcare systems without properly addressing the totalitarian architecture of these industries and their incestuous marriage to the injustice system CHOP came to stomp out."
-65% "If not, save them for next time, because their will always be a next time."
-72% "The Feds weren't above random gangland shootings during Cointelpro, and who is Trump but the Satanic reincarnation of Dick Nixon."
-73% "We demand that all students in the Seattle area be given the right to grade their teachers and that these grades have the same affect on the faculties upward mobility as the grades they give do the student's, eliminating ageist class divisions and insuring equitable treatment."
-81% "This includes the palatial vacation homes and pool houses of the tech magnates who have made this city unlivable for poor people."
-91% "CHOP also suffers from this generation's dreadful lack of imagination."
-92% "The somewhat disappointing reality is that the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone isn't really an anarchist project."

We have listed the top 15 sentiments. More sentiments do exist. Please review the full article for more information.



*Our bias meter rating uses data science including sentiment analysis, machine learning and our proprietary algorithm for determining biases in news articles. The rating is an independent analysis and is not affiliated nor sponsored by the news source or any other organization

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Contributing sentiments towards policy:

98% : We demand the right to mitigate our own justice system through both armed and unarmed peacekeepers, free of influence from the outside police state, including but not limited to the defense of our citizens and the investigation and subsequent mode of restorative justice we choose to handle those who harm them.
95% : If our schools can't stimulate their student's attention, it isn't the students who should be penalized for their failings. 8.
94% : I remind all of you dearest motherfuckers, especially those within CHOP, to take my suggestions with a grain of salt or two.
90% : We demand that once the local police state disarms, they hand over their armaments to the local homeless shelters, so that the most desperate among us have the same means as the rich to defend themselves from gentrification. 7.
90% : All other taxes within city limits shall be 100% voluntary.
89% : Strange places no American ever spoke of, with exotic names like Transnistria, Gaza, Nagorno-Karabakh, and Western Sahara.
85% : We demand that truancy be decriminalized within city limits.
84% : I would eventually grow into a commie, Third World, war nerd who fastidiously followed and supported these esoteric independence movements from afar.
83% : As a Panarchist and a pan-secessionist, I try my damnedest to support all indigenous alternatives to the state, and the first half of the CHOP formerly known as CHAZ's original list of demands is a spot on assault on the local Seattle police state, calling for the wholesale abolition of the pigs and their prison system, as well as degentrification and increased autonomy for local anti-crime initiatives.
83% : We demand that all unoccupied properties within city limits be made free game for squatters to shelter in or on and transform into additional autonomous zones of their own, if they so wish.
81% : We demand that our doublespeaking, police coddling mayor, Jenny Durkin, perform an unplugged rendition of "All Apologies" on bended knee, while wearing a pilgrim buckle hat.
81% : Consider it a tax on the federal government that rob us all blind.
79% : Organized Protest, which may very well include a fair share of anarchists among its contingency but is not in fact an anarchist commune.
77% : With all this in mind, I've decided to write up a few new demands for CHOP to consider if they wish to remain lethal to the outside system which may very well be sabotaging them from within as we speak.
77% : Seattle must become a demilitarized zone.
77% : We demand that the military and all institutions that serve the military industrial complex be permanently evicted from city limits under threat of local prosecution in tandem with international law for conspiracy to commit crimes against humanity.
76% : I only pray to Christ and Kali that they reach you before Seattle steamrolls the whole damn thing.
74% : It goes back to my childhood love of maps, flags and geography.
74% : Think of them as a few friendly suggestions from a Panarchist ally.
74% : We demand the right to open carry and the formation of civilian militias promised to us by the United States Constitution, and we reserve the right to stand our ground against all enemies, foreign or domestic, whether they wear a badge or a bandana.
72% : Secession often gets a dirty name on the American left, thanks largely to those slave driving frauds in the Confederacy who failed to get the approval of the citizens they called property before calling it splitsville.
72% : So naturally I was pretty fucking stoked when the goblins on my aging mother's Fox News programs began hyperventilating over CHAZ. Born in the heat of urban social upheaval, the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone or CHAZ rose from the tear gas like a great anarchist kraken to tantalize and toy with the posh gentrified towers of the purgatory the tech industry has turned one of America's fine outlaw cities into.
70% : The greatest blow ever delivered to White Supremacy was the day a Dixiecrat congressman came home from voting for the latest Clinton crime bill to find his lily-white teenage daughter in bed with the undocumented housekeeper, scissoring to the latest NWA album blasting from the family HiFi system.
70% : A right once guaranteed in the Declaration of Independence as a stopgap to the growth of the kind of tyranny that has gone unchallenged in this country and made our existence a necessity for self-defense.
69% : We demand that all Seattle area hospitals and health care facilities be governed by autonomous democratic councils made up of patients and healthcare providers, including representation for nurses and orderlies that is proportional to their percentage of the workforce.
68% : Those hysterical creatures who terrify the elderly for a living always make the left look way cooler than it really is.
67% : In fact, in its latest capitulation to the melodramatic Karens of the straight world, it isn't even an autonomous zone anymore.
65% : A glorious cacophony of grindcore and lo-fi Soundcloud rap bounces off the alleyways from a dozen feral ghetto-blasters tapped into the city grid through hacked streetlamps, as barely legal teen runaways go wild in the streets, shooting dark web procured psychedelic tryptamines and eating each other's taught assholes beneath signs reading "You are now leaving the United States of America."
64% : We demand that all city taxes be paid by individuals with a net worth of $10 million or more, since these citizens are undoubtedly the recipients of federal corporate welfare.
63% : Finally, the freaks, faggots and crusty dreaded junkies had taken back a six block piece of what had once been a thriving bohemian red light district and transformed it into an outrageous post-apocalyptic utopia, tattooed in graffiti and crawling with sketchy libertines who saunter through the war torn avenues with exotically modified AR-15's and fluorescent colored dread-hawks.
63% : They are but the wild ramblings of an agoraphobic, genderqueer, pale-faced, suburban armchair anarchist from the other end of the country.
62% : The only gas that fills these streets now is the skunky fog emanating from flaming dumpsters and doobies the size of dinosaur bones.
62% : We need to shock and provoke.
62% : We demand that all students of all ages in the Seattle area be provided with unions of their own and that all deals made with the teacher's unions be contingent upon the approval of said student unions, so as to create equality inside the classroom and out.
61% : That isn't to say that CHOP ain't worth defending.
60% : I use to spend hours poring over atlases and fixating on the strange autonomous zones that only existed inside fluid borders drawn in dotted lines.
60% : But globally speaking, secession has more often than not been a practice which usually favors the colonized over the colonizers, and one that could have given real teeth to the growing slave revolts of the South had it been held to the standards of Thomas Paine.
59% : All things considered, it's really little wonder that after an adolescent flirtation with Bolivarian Guevarism, I became a devoted Panarchist, a school of anarchism that rejects globalism in favor of militant localism, and dreams of a world of a million autonomous zones, divided only by ideology and fluid dotted lines.
58% : We don't think this will do much to heal any wounds.
56% : If only the vivid nightmares of Sean Hannity were a reality, the world would be my wet dream.
56% : They lack the theatrical flourish of the Youth International Party, the Black Liberation Army, or the Situationist International.
56% : Submitted for your humble consideration, from one malcontent to another.
55% : As proven by their name change concession, the partisans of CHOP underestimate the power of shocking the bourgeoisie.
54% : But you can win over their jaded children by spooking their normie parents.
54% : I, Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit, speaking as the biologically male autonomous zone occupied by a genderflux coven of a dozen lesbian femmes, hereby suggest the following demands for consideration by the Capital Hill Organized Protest or however you may choose to self-identify this week.
53% : We just think it would be fucking funny.
52% : I have always been fascinated by secessionist movements.
52% : CHOP is a loose collaboration between Black Lives Matter and a number of other Pacific Northwest protest movements, and aside from a recent highly publicized spatter of the type of seemingly random acts of violence inevitable in any new society, the whole thing has been almost depressingly chill.
51% : True revolutionaries are never going to win over the adults out their in TV land.
51% : Fuck her and all her empty platitudes to social justice.
50% : We recognize the police state as being a lethal injection table held up by many legs and we aim to saw them all off and ride that deathbed like a surfboard to liberty across the Puget Sound.
49% : We demand the full banishment of all law enforcement agencies from the Seattle city limits, not just the metropolitan PD, but the Sheriffs Department, the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the DEA, the ATF, the IRS, ICE and the Border Patrol.
46% : And finally, we demand that CHOP/CHAZ be federally recognized as an autonomous administrative division, free from further federal regulation and taxation, with the full right to govern itself however it's citizenry sees fit and with the full right to secede completely from the Union if they see fit.
45% : After rightfully calling out the chattel style slavery of this nation's school-to-prison system, CHOP calls for blank checks to centralized education and healthcare systems without properly addressing the totalitarian architecture of these industries and their incestuous marriage to the injustice system CHOP came to stomp out.
42% : We will not be a party to the mockery of justice that the outside police state uses to fight crime.
41% : America chose to become an authoritarian regime.
35% : If not, save them for next time, because their will always be a next time.
34% : We the people choose to opt out.
31% : Finally, the American left appears to have discovered the magic of secession.
28% : The Feds weren't above "random" gangland shootings during Cointelpro, and who is Trump but the Satanic reincarnation of Dick Nixon.
27% : We demand that all students in the Seattle area be given the right to grade their teachers and that these grades have the same affect on the faculties upward mobility as the grades they give do the student's, eliminating ageist class divisions and insuring equitable treatment.
26% : CHOP needs to own the bad rep Fox has fortuitously bestowed upon them because it might be their greatest weapon in a cultural war for the hearts and minds of the terminally bored.
25% : CHAZ has become CHOP aka the Capitol Hill
19% : Sadly, the second half is bereft with the social-democratic gimme culture of the Bernie buttfucked left.
19% : This includes the palatial vacation homes and pool houses of the tech magnates who have made this city unlivable for poor people.
11% : If said individuals don't like it, they can leave and take they're skyrocketing property values with them.
9% : CHOP also suffers from this generation's dreadful lack of imagination.
8% : The somewhat disappointing reality is that the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone isn't really an anarchist project.
5% : That fight is a fight against poor people and it will not be allowed to be waged within this space.

*Our bias meter rating uses data science including sentiment analysis, machine learning and our proprietary algorithm for determining biases in news articles. The rating is an independent analysis and is not affiliated nor sponsored by the news source or any other organization

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